I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
