The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
