i wish there were pregnant emoticons
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
