dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
