TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
