Non-Jews are for practice
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
