it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
