I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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