Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
