but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize