I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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