Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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