so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
