Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Randomize
