how can u be prego again
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
