she peed on how many people?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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