If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
