THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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