Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
