New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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