garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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