Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
