gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
