We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
