Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
