love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
