dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
there is glitter all over my balls
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
