I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
