I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
