Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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