i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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