So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
