come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
