But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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