I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
