nutella sex= disaster
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
