She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
