But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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