No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
