My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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