I'm so fucking centered right now
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
