Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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