YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
