you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
