The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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