Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
