Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
