I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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