Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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