You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
