That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
